I must be the luckiest guy in the world. For years, I’ve read about pay-it-forward stories happening at restaurants and drive-thrus. Well, it happened to me for the second time. (The first time was at Taco Bell, a few years ago. At the time, I shared my experience here.) I was at Starbucks buying breakfast sandwiches for my elderly parents (in their 70s) on Tuesday morning and (surprise!) the family ahead of me in the drive-thru lane paid for them. It seems like such a small gesture, but I can tell you the impact is profound. In the moment the barista told me my tab was covered, I felt shocked, special and grateful. Unfortunately, it seems we no longer expect others to be kind, generous or thoughtful. The family pulled away so quickly. There was no chance to honk my horn or tap on the driver’s window to share my gratitude. They had no idea about my gender, race, political beliefs, religion or financial situation. They simply wanted to make a stranger’s day a little brighter. The act was not small by any means, especially for a bargain hunter like me. The $10 they saved me allows me to put more gas in the car, buy more groceries or add to my savings account. Every action has a reaction.
The experience reminded me about the importance of giving back, no matter how small. For me, I keep a stash of snacks in a tote bag in the backseat of my car, so, whenever I see someone holding a “Need Help” sign, I can hand them a bag of nuts, crackers, dried fruit or granola bars. (I’m still a “cheapskate”! Everything in the bag I get for pennies on the dollar because of coupons and sale prices/clearance shelves. The $10 the family saved me I will put toward finding more snacks for my “give back tote.”)
I would love to hand out $5 or $10 bills, but I struggle with whether or not it’s really helpful. I feel better about handing out food, knowing the money is better spent (and wisely.) Plus, the food is something they truly need. (If you can’t tell by now, I’m a big softie — so I often give one person a little care package of several items. If anything, I figure they will have “meals” for a day or two.)
We are so quick to judge others, myself included — often negatively. When in reality, we have no idea about another’s journey. (Can we all just agree, life is not easy for anyone? Everyone has difficulties to overcome. Yes, some are bigger than others. However, when it’s happening to you, it can be overwhelming.) I know my journey has, at times, been met with challenges, whether it has been family drama, losing a job, dealing with unexpected bills, health concerns or those nagging self-esteem issues. (I’m not alone, right?)
No one is perfect, but we’re all so fearful of showing any vulnerability or weakness. (You never see anyone tweeting or posting about their low moments — only the highlights. It gives the false impression that everyone else is happier than you and living a much better life. It’s one of the reasons I don’t have a Facebook page and probably never will. I don’t have much patience for anything inauthentic or fake. Did I mention I despise reality TV?) Yet, there is so much power and strength in knowing you’re not alone. Don’t we all hope that, if we or a loved one ever needed help, there would be unconditional compassion from others?
With the state we’re in today, I hope we can all find any opportunity (big and small) to be kind to one another, individually and as a community. I, for one, will keep trying to pay-it-forward, whenever I can. Here’s an idea: “Random Acts of Cheapness” — sharing coupons with strangers at the check-out stand!
Have you ever had a pay-it-forward experience — either as the recipient or, better yet, as the giver?
I look forward to our next chat. And, remember, there’s always a deal, you just need to look for it. :-)
Jennifer says
Woohoo, love this!
I’ve been doing this at Starbucks for 6 years now, love it!! When I lived in KC, my “go to” store told me an awesome story. The drive through pay it forward went on for 2 straight hours one day. Wow, just wow!
mae says
I live your story. Giving money is not always a good thing. One place I do that is the local food bank. You can’t get everything you need at a food bank and while ‘food stamps’ help, they don’t cover everything else. Besides, sometimes a treat or something extra is needed. So I’ll give a few dollars there to help out.
Rachelle says
Bryan, you are a delight. I could even fall for you if you didn’t think 70s is elderly. (Of course I understand for some people it is. But my friends in their 70s never sit still.)
I buy items in bulk and make up help bags which I keep in the car and hand out as I go. Included in each bag: Wisps (tiny toothbrushes that require no water no rinsing), hand sanitizer, hand cream, lip balm, tissues, bandaids, cough drops, gum, cookies/granola bars, white cotton socks. I’ve received lots of hugs.
Barb says
I knit when I am watching TV. I find a deal, or am given yarn and I make scarves. Every Christmas I put the scarves in a clear bag and tie a big bow on them. Then I hand them out to anyone who needs one. They really enjoy that they are a wrapped gift and that it is a practical thing they can put to use right away. I occasionally have had a man take one for a wife or daughter.
Christine S. says
Thank you, Bryan Blathers,
When I go to Subway (often on a deal or special) I get a foot long sandwich, and only eat half of it. If I see someone asking for hand-outs, I offer my sandwich. No one has refused. Sometimes the giving is not the end of the story…
My son used to do the same thing, with sub sandwiches, unbeknownst to me. He told me that there was a man who held a sign, “Will work for cash” along his drive back to work after lunch. if he saw the man, he would offer him the sandwich. Sometimes he was there, sometimes, not. On one stop, Josh told the man, “I haven’t seen you for a couple of weeks; I thought you’d moved away.” The man said he did carpentry work and had found a job for the 2 weeks, but now…Josh asked the man if he was looking for work, and the man said he couldn’t afford a phone, which everyone asked for, to respond about jobs.
Josh gave him his business card and told him to come to his office at a warehouse distribution center and ask to see him; he would help him find work.
The man came to Josh’s office; Josh said he looked nervous, but like he tried to make himself look more “presentable”. Josh took him to the warehouse; asked him if he could build skids. After seeing that the man was quite capable, Josh hired him. The man NEVER missed a day of work, NEVER came in late. I’m so proud of my son, and of this man who did not give up. I always have said that my 3 children are my biggest gifts to this world!This is just one instance where a hand out became a hand up.
Sandy says
This just made my day…thanks Bryan!!
Debbie Waddill says
Thanks for a great posting, Bryan! I’ve been the one “paying it forward” for many occasions; however, I’ve never experienced one in return until recently when Starbucks was free because their computers were down! Haha! I love all these heartwarming stories of kindness. It makes the world a better place. :-)
TJ says
Thank YOU for sharing your story and MHOTC thriving
Kathy Edwards says
Love your posting! I take myself for a free Birthday Breakfast at Denny’s every year, two days before Christmas, very busy, and I require no extra service. My birthday custom is to leave $10 cash tip for the waiter (about the cost of the meal). This year, a young man stayed holding the front door open for me although I was still some ways from arriving….a completely unexpected gesture. He was seated in the back of the restaurant, and had his meal by himself. When I went to check out, I told the manager that I was paying for this young man’s meal, too, and just asked him to allow me time to leave before he informed him. This is my favorite gift to myself every year. I also love all the other ideas that have been posted and will add some to my own routine. The joy really is in the giving, year round.